Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13
An Unforgettable Neighbor
An old woman was babysitting her four grandchildren when the house burst into flames. A neighbor ran in to save the trapped victims, but sadly, all six perished in the fire. This self-sacrifice cannot be found in history textbooks, but I will never forget what that man did. We often hear stories about people risking their lives to save family members, but how many risk their lives for neighbors?
According to scripture, no greater love exists than that of a man dying for his friends. Because Jesus calls us friends, we should investigate the nature of that relationship. Thanks to social media, friendship has been reduced to likes and follows rather than genuine love. We expect nothing more from our so-called friends than views, smiley faces, and heart emojis! Am I right about it?
Some people brag about having dozens of friends (and hundreds more online). Those same friends abandon them when they hit rock bottom. In reality, we probably can count our genuine friends on one hand. True friends love us for who we are—unfiltered and imperfect. They forgive us without grudges, share our sorrow, and rejoice in our achievements. Authentic friendships are rare, hard to cultivate, and often run deeper than familial relationships.
Once we understand the nature of true friendship, we can see why Jesus referred to his disciples as friends. Remember his loving words of encouragement at the last Passover meal. He had revealed to the disciples all the Father had given to him. Though betrayal and death were upon him, their friendship would endure.
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you.
Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.
John 15:13-15
Jesus implored the disciples to serve him, even in his absence. If their friendship were to remain, they had to keep his commandments. The disciples would also serve and love one other transparently, with willingness and joy—as friends do.
The Nature of True Friendship
Why do many friendships run deeper than kinship? Well, unlike our family, we get to choose our friends. Our family name has certain history; we carry it with integrity or shame. Our blood relatives have known us since childhood and tend to judge us based on past successes and failures. Our neighbors measure our value by our parents’ status and history, so we carry a cycle of familial expectations into adulthood.
However, when we meet a friend, that person appreciates who we are at that moment. We establish a bond that is not overshadowed by past mistakes. New friends give us the benefit of the doubt despite our family’s reputation. Over time, we choose to pursue a friendship based on compatibility, not pedigree. Therefore, the new relationship is full of possibilities.
Meeting Jesus is like meeting a new friend. We desperately need love despite our sins and family history. We seek out people who will not use our past to shame us. Thankfully, Jesus offers rest to the weary and heavy-laden (Matthew 11:28). If we repent, he will forgive our sins without prejudice, for he came not to condemn the world but to save it. Just as we choose our friends, Jesus has chosen us (John 15:16).
Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.
Proverbs 27:17
We also seek companions who inspire us. True friends draw us out of selfishness and teach us to be trustworthy and loyal. They never betray our secrets or take advantage of our vulnerabilities. When we need them, they show up, willing to give all they have. Friendship is hard work, and our relationship with God is no different. We honor our friendship with him by showing up when he calls. Because Abraham answered the call and was willing to give up his son, God considered him a friend:
Was not Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son upon the altar?
Seest thou how faith wrought with his works, and by works was faith made perfect?
And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.
James 2:21-23
How many would give up their most prized possession—life itself—for friendship? Faith without works is dead (James 2:26), and our friendship with God will be tested. Abraham showed great faith, and God graciously spared Isaac. We are not saved by works, but our works demonstrate our faith! Therefore, if we love God, we will also trust and obey him.
No Greater Love
What makes friendship special? We are not obligated to keep it: we can walk away anytime. In other words, we sacrifice for friends not because we must but because we choose to. Though God spared Isaac, he chose not to spare his own Son. Who are we that God would be mindful of us (Hebrews 2:6)? Why would his Son befriend us and die to save us? All out of love—no greater love.
He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love.
In this was manifested the love of God toward us, because that God sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him.
Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.
Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.
1 John 4:8-11
At the Passover supper, Jesus demonstrated that friendship is reciprocal. We love God because he first loved us. As we abide in Christ, he abides in us. He chose us, and we have chosen to follow him. Yes, we may be mocked, ridiculed, and even forsaken by relatives and so-called friends. We may be doxed, cyberbullied, unliked, and unfollowed. Nevertheless, we must remain loyal to our true friend who endured shame on the cross.
We often profess love, but love is much more than affection. Love is a choice—to give our hearts to others, even if it costs us everything. In a small town years ago, an unsung hero ran into a burning home. He did not hesitate because he loved his neighbors; saving their lives was worth losing his own. Indeed, true love is sacrifice, and Christ laid down his life for all humanity. As his friends, we should lay down our lives for him.
A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24
What a friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear.